


At the Break of Dawn

by AmyOtterCat



Series: Circadian Rhythms [2]
Category: Hellsing, Hellsing Ultimate
Genre: F/F, Greysexual Character, Human/Vampire Relationship, Mostly Fluff, Pansexual Character, Polyamorous Character, beginning relationship, currently a pretty gentle fic, girls who like girls, gonna be some smut, probably will involve more violence and blood later cause hellsing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2018-12-26 09:38:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12056244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyOtterCat/pseuds/AmyOtterCat
Summary: Facing life after London is no easy task for either Integra or seras. Distant friendship becomes close companionship as they cling to each other for comfort and it is not long untill companionship turns to something more. For two people who expected to live a lonely life in the shadows of the night could dawn be breaking?





	1. Bureaucracy

**Author's Note:**

> currently not rated, will probably end up somewhere between mature and explicit, I will change the rating when those chapters get posted.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> takes place within the first month after London.

“Fuck all kinds of duck!” Integra exclaimed as she slammed down a pile of paperwork. There was a loud crashing noise and then Seras was standing in the now-open doorway, clutching her cannon and breathing hard. 

“What’s wrong?” Her eyes searched the room frantically for an intruder and Integra flinched as something brushed her ankle, Seras’s shadows extending to check the room for things her eyes might miss. 

“Nothing. Stand down agent Victoria.” Integra sighed wearily and pinched the bridge of her nose. Seras slowly nodded and her shadows formed into a semblance of an arm again. 

“I-I’m sorry.” She blinked several times “I thought - “

“I know what you thought.” Integra cut her off and slumped back into her chair “Really I am fine. It's just these dastardly budget reviews and I don't know where we are going to get the funds to repair everything that needs to be repaired and hire all new staffing. The other members of the round table - those who are still alive that is - are being quite protective of their purse strings.” She looked over to see the police girl smiling awkwardly. “Nothing for you to worry about.” Integra dismissed her. 

“If you're sure Sir.” The blond edged back out of the doorway inch by inch.

“Yes. Leave me.” Integra grumbled and returned to the file, yet another pile of forms to sign. Bureaucracy. 

There was a soft shuffle and her doorway was once again empty.

~~~

Seras found herself wandering in the lower levels. These last few days she had spent most of her waking time removing blood and dirt and other assorted grime from the mansion. Piles of debris had been dumped outside, splintered doors removed from their hinges, art sorted into piles for restoration or destruction based on levels of damage. She had scrubbed every floorboard and inch of wall but some bloodstains would need a fresh coat of paint and that would do jack shit for the bullet holes or grenade damage. These lower levels were as clean and cold as ever though. The stone comforted her. It was sturdy. Seras looked up to find she had stopped in front of heavy wooden doors with a bright red seal on them. Alucard's room. 

Pushing through the doorway despite the chains that had been draped across it by an Integra who did not want uninvited guests disturbing the crypt, Seras fell to her knees by the coffin. Her hand reached out and hovered over the block of pavement resting on top that seemed to perpetually ooze blood from the same red mark as was displayed on the doors. 

“You would have known what to do master” she whimpered. “Probably would’ve licked the blood form the walls and solved all her problems with a smirk on your face” she laughed mirthlessly. “Would you rob a bank for her master? Or would you just threaten a construction crew into fixing the mansion for free?” Her hand fell to the floor. “We miss you. Please come back soon.”

As Seras exited the room she was filled with determination to do everything she could for her master’s master. Integra needed her as much as she needed Integra, even if the stubborn human wouldn’t admit it. Seras realized in that moment that she needn’t be asking herself what would Alucard do, but what would Walter do? Tea. She could make tea, she was English after all. 

~~~

Integra startled in her chair, a soft clinking alerting her to a change in the room. The sound came from her blindside and she tensed instantly. One hand reaching for the gun in her drawer, the one with the holy silver bullets; she swiveled in her chair. A pair of red eyes stared back at her, the little vampire perched on the edge of the balcony, obviously stopped in the middle of her departure. 

"I didn't want to disturb you." The girl blushed as she spoke and Integra found herself wondering how that was possible. Certainly the red-clad female no longer had blood pumping in her veins. 

"Then why did you sneak in?" Integra arched an eyebrow, her hand still resting on the drawer handle. Seras simply ducked her head and gestured behind the desk to one of the typically empty armchairs. The tan human tilted her head to see a tray holding a delicate china cup and accompanying teapot as well as a few finger-sandwiches. Allowing her hand to raise from the drawer Integra crooked a finger, beckoning her companion back into the room. "What kind did you bring me?"

"Darjeeling. Black." Seras slid from the railing and stepped over the threshold with soft footfalls. "Cucumber sandwiches"

"Thank you." Integra softened her face into a smile. It really was thoughtful of the girl. She had been so absorbed in work she actually hadn't eaten all day. "Join me?" Integra motioned to the other chair and soon Seras slumped into it. 

Without a word the vampire loaded a small plate with food and settled the teacup next to it, passing it across the table. Integra accepted the offering and returned back to work. The clack of the keyboard, the occasional shuffling of pages, and the gentle clink of china were the only sounds in the room. Integra glanced up after transferring data from one file to the computer to find Seras studying her intensely. She gently cleared her throat and the other blond shook her head and smiled. 

"Sorry Sir." Her eyes dropped from where their attention had been held, at Integras pulse.

"Are you thirsty?"

"I'm fine."

Good eye narrowing behind her glasses Integra pulled off one glove and raised a tan finger to her lips, ready to draw blood. "Tell me the truth."

"I don't want to hurt you." The vampire hid her eyes behind her bangs and fiddled with the holes of one of her torn stockings, her shadow arm leaping in response to her emotions. It was not what Integra had expected to hear but she recognized it was true. 

"You will not. You never have." She stood up and walked around the desk to kneel in front of the chair where Seras sat inhumanly still. "I will never offer you more than I am willing to give." 

"Then what are you willing to give?" The intense gaze of Seras’s red eyes startled Integra for a moment, how much they reminded her of another nosferatu. 

"Shelter, sustenance, mutual protection, and companionship -" Integra paused for a moment, trying to select the right word "- a home." 

~~~

Seras felt her throat close up. A home. It was really all she ever wanted. And here was this human, this beautiful creature with bronze skin and flaxen hair and eyes like a storm offering her all of it on a platter. She had a million thoughts abuzz in her head. What would happen when master came back? Would she need to be bound by runes like he was? Was the woman only saying this because she didn't have anyone else? Would she still be welcome in ten, twenty, thirty years? 

Finally she nodded and offered one question. "What can I give you?" She watched Sir Integra’s visible eye dilate slightly. 

"You can protect me and my home, be Hellsing’s weapon, talk to me, be my confidant. I expect your loyalty and your honesty." 

She could do that. "I can do that." Seras blurted and her master’s master laughed. 

"Good." The human quickly bit her finger and offered it to Seras. "A contract bound in blood is for life." 

Without hesitation Seras sucked the digit into her mouth, lapping at the delicious liquid. Slowly pulling away when the blood started to go to her head she sighed contentedly and watched Integra rise lazily to return to her desk. The comfortable almost-silence resumed and Seras found herself dozing off until a pile of folders were thrown toward her general vicinity.

“These are profiles on potential recruits. Read them and give me your recommendations.” Integra didn't even look up as she barked the orders. A warm glow seemed to fill Seras’s chest in the place where her heart had stopped beating. Back to work then eh, if this was the way the rest of her un-life could carry on she supposed that would be perfectly fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long to get out!


	2. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> takes place within the 4th month of the 30 year gap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my schedule and my editors are at extreme odds right now, so going forward these works are unbetaed unless I state otherwise. sorry for the long wait. I think posting on my own for now will work out better for everyone where I can upload more often and it's no stress on my friend. With that said I apologize if my writing seems less... polished.
> 
> back to the fic now :)

It had been a few months since the London incident, the mansion was repaired and fresh recruits were patrolling the halls, yet Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing still found herself tossing and turning in bed. She had just sat bolt upright in a sweaty panic as the images of fire and distant screaming faded from her mind. A soft hand on her shoulder had her clutching the pistol under her pillow. The blurry figure blinking back at her from the other end of the barrel was no threat though. 

"Seras," Integra let the gun hang loosely from one finger as she rubbed her forehead with the heel of her hand "What are you doing?" 

"My job." The small vampire crawled into the bed, shining hair casting a faint halo in the moonlight, and wrapped her arms, one loose shadow one solid muscle, around Integra. "I said I would protect you, you were in distress." 

"It was just a nightmare." The human shook her head even as she relaxed back into the other blonde's arms. 

"I know. Is it ok if I stay anyway?" Seras took the gun and placed it on the bedside table next to integra’s glasses. Integra pursed her lips and then gave in, her head slumping onto the vampire's shoulder. 

"Yes, Seras, you may stay." She pulled the covers up about her chin. "Take your boots off." There was wiggling as the petite female kicked off her shoes and shuffled down under the covers, cradling her boss's head on a pillow of shadows extending from where her arm should be. Integra had almost drifted off to sleep again when soft words accompanied by a cool breath on her neck interrupted her dozing. 

"I get them too."

"And what do you see vampire? When you wake up in the middle of the day because reality is less harsh than your dreams?"

"I just hear master's words over and over again, see his face, his faces I guess. And the way he slumped on Anderson blade." Soft gloved fingers were twining in Integras hair now but she was much too tired to pretend to mind. 

"Not the blood? The fallen innocents?" Integra’s shoulder twitched as she resisted the urge to roll over and face her companion. There were some things easier to say in the dark. Seras shrugged against her. 

"I guess that doesn't bother me as much as it should." 

"Me neither..." Integra admitted "I usually see the major... sometimes Walter on the worst nights." Seras simply hummed in understanding. "You said you hear Alucard’s words? What did he say that so haunts you?"

There was a sharp intake of breath behind her before the vampire responded in another language. 

~~~

Seras shut her eyes, breathing in the scent of Integra and old books and stardust. She repeated the words that ran through her head every night, though she was sure she butchered the accents in places.

"I se va pastra ca propria mea. Eu te voi proteja in bratele mele. Pentru totdeauna, mireasa mea."

She felt Integra go stiff beside her. 

"When did he say that to you?"

"When we all met up in London, he had a mustache -" she giggled slightly "- he put his hand on my head and called me 'his seras victoria' and those words sounded in my mind." She was quiet, waiting for Integra to speak again, but when there was only silence Seras couldn't help but break it "Do you... know what it means?"

"Yes." Integra shifted onto her back, staring up at the ceiling with memories swirling in her eye. "My father made sure I knew many languages, Romanian being one of them." She sighed slightly "Though the dialect has changed a bit from when Alucard lived." One of Integra’s hands rubbed gently on Seras’s good arm. "Would you like to know what it means?" 

"No," seras shook her head "I want to hear it from him." Integra didn't say that Alucard was gone, she didn't need too, Seras felt it in the tightening of the woman's grip. But Seras had faith in her master's return. It was almost as if she could still feel him out there, somewhere. 

They fell back into a comfortable quiet again but Integra’s breathing and heart-rate remained elevated, indicating to Seras's delicate vampire hearing that she was not yet asleep. The human rolled again, facing Seras now, her good eye searching the girl's face, occasionally glancing to her lips. She opened her mouth as if to say something more but shut it again in an uncharacteristic display of uncertainty. 

"What is it?" Seras tried to smile comfortingly.

"A question I am not sure I should ask." Integra’s face scrunched together. 

"I promised to be honest with you, ask me anything."

"Perhaps I should clarify; a question I'm not certain I want the answer to."

"Oh." 

~~~

Integra felt her chest squeeze tighter but her curiosity won over trepidation. 

"What are your feelings towards Alucard?"

Seras simply shook her head and Integra set her lips in a narrow line. The vampire would answer her or did promises mean nothing? Just as she went to snap Seras responded. 

"It’s just that I can’t put it into words Sir." She lapsed into old formalities sometimes out of habit. "He is my master. That's a bond that doesn’t have a human equivalent."

"You love him." It was not a question, and Seras didn't answer. Integra sighed and fluffed at Seras’s shadow-arm-pillow causing the girl to giggle. She resolutely turned away and buried her face in the oddly comfortable material. “I should sleep. Wake me before dawn, I have work to do and it would be a shame for you to burn up in the sun attempting to protect me from nightmares.” She kept a bite to her voice but couldn't deny the softness growing in her heart for the young draculina. She may have even mumbled a “Thank you Seras” as she drifted into a startlingly dreamless sleep, but she would deny that to the day she died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to not post the translation of alucard's words until Seras also knows what they mean. (of course I used a variety of translators to achieve the best romanian I could and you could do a copy-paste back to english if you really wanted to know. I will warn you right now google translate is not quite right from my experiences.)
> 
> hopefully i will post again in the near future :)


	3. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> takes place within the 9th month of the 30 year gap

Almost a year, Integra mused down at her reflection in the teacup. Almost a year since her home was destroyed and her closest compatriots ripped from her side. The round table had been re-established, the mansion restored better than before, and operations were back to normal. Some days Integra didn't feel anything was different, and then she would have to concentrate a little harder in fencing because depth perception with one eye was a wee bit tricky, or she would think she heard a dark laugh before recalling that HE wasn't here anymore, the worst was when noon teatime came and she would be neck deep in red tape and automatically call for Walter. These things were softened though by the constant presence that was Seras. 

And she was “Seras” now, at least in private. Only ever “agent Victoria” in front of the staff or occasionally “commander” when training troops out on the field. Once she called her “police girl” but that was met with a very sassy “yes ma’aaaam” and a bow that had the vampires hair brushing the floor. Integra decided she didn't like that much so she dropped the old nickname. On her part Seras had trouble adapting to informality. Especially when she was nervous. If Integra had to hear “hey sir?” one more time she... Well she wasn't sure what she would do but it was really getting on her nerves.

A frown marred her face as she checked her watch, three am, Seras should have been back by now. She had been off on a fairly simple mission, just running recon on some suspicious activity on the edges of London, even leaving Pip in her shadows surrounding the mansion. “Bernadotte?” Integra called into the empty air and suddenly half of the frenchman was leaning out of a swirling vortex of black in the wall.

“You called Sir Integra?”

“Yes. Can you use your familiar link to check on agent Victoria?”

“Worried?” He smiled knowingly around his ever-present phantom cigarette. 

“I just want to know why my vampire is late reporting back. Tardiness is not acceptable.” Integra crossed her arms resolutely. 

“Right then.” Ghost-pip held up his hands in surrender and sunk back into the shadows. He returned only a few seconds later wearing an expression that instantly had Integra on the intercom directing troops to gather in the yard. Something was wrong. 

“She was unresponsive.” He shook his head. “I do not know if she was just blocking me out or…” the dead captain trailed off leaving the idea of a unconscious Seras to plague Integra’s mind. What could have done that?

With practiced movements Integra had her overcoat slung around her shoulders and her rapier strapped to her waist, marching quickly towards where her soldiers should be lined up, ready to convene upon their captains last known location. Integra angrily tugged at her glove cuff, why did she let the girl go alone? Incredibly powerful vampire or not she would be taking a troop with her on every mission from now on. Taking the steps two at a time she landed on the foyer floor just as a flash of red moved past her peripheral vision. Spinning on one heel Integra found herself facing a pile of limbs and blood gasping on the floor. Seras!

~~~

It had been a den of werewolves. Seras had found them lurking in an abandoned warehouse, half starved and fully crazy. She assumed there would be no more than three, the reports Integra had received did not indicate the type of destruction a large pack would cause. So with a shrug seras had headed in alone, this should be simple, an easy end to an easy mission. But she had been wrong. There were at least 10. After the first one slashed at her the rest of the fight was a blur of bloodlust and rage. As soon as they were all dead she had flown back to the manor desperate to get to the safety of her familiar and driven by the promise of fresh virgin blood to close her wounds. Vaguely she recalled that Pip had tried to reach her, but the distance combined with her weakness from blood loss had severed the connection. Now she lay, bleeding out on the floor, trying desperately to keep her eyes open as a panicked Integra dashed to her side.

“Blood” she managed to gasp out as lily-white gloves skimmed over her. She felt them dance along the cuts on her good arm, brush against the wound in her leg checking that it missed the major artery, tangle in her hair searching for head wounds, and finally notice the gaping hole in her stomach. Integras gasp and the pressure she applied warmed seras dead heart. How thoughtful. But that was not what she needed. She would not heal without sustenance. 

Vaguely words filtered through the haze to Seras’s ears. Her boss was calling for medics and ordering troops to surround the mansion. Seras would tell her that the threat had been eliminated if she was capable of more than one word at a time. “Blood” she growled again, reaching out to weekly grab at Integra’s collar. The woman took no notice. 

“Hey. She needs blood.” That was Pip, peering out from where her arm would have been. In the back of her mind the connection between nosferatu and familiar was reestablished and a string of french cuss words was coming off of her dear capitaine. This did seem to finally snap Integra back to herself. One blue eye blinked slowly, then with a speed Seras had not seen in humans, Integra had a glove off and was holding a dripping wrist in front of Seras’s mouth.

“Don’t bite.”

Seras was barely able to obey the command as she lapped at the delicious life-giving liquid. Her fangs elongated and Pip muttered soothing sounds as she fought every instinct to take what she needed and leave nothing left. Shadows whipped around and began to stitch her together from the inside out, finally lapping up every drop of blood from the floor. When she was whole and clean again she released Integra's wrist from the unyielding grip she had unwittingly held her with. 

“Thank you” Seras muttered, sleepy as the sun peeked over the horizon. She needed to crawl into her coffin. Soon. Pip had already began to slumber in the shadows, exhausted from more excitement than he had seen in along while. He would probably be out-of-commission for at least a week. Healing was no small effort for a vampire's familiar. Integra waved over the group of medical staff with a stretcher and ordered them to transport Seras to her rooms. Seras rolled her eyes and insisted she could walk but Integra was having none of it. The vampire decided that letting Sir Integra fuss was probably fine, especially because no one could actually say no to the iron maiden when she put her foot down. Seras used the transportation time to give her field report, words slightly slurring as her eyelids drooped. 

“Do not strain yourself agent Victoria.” Integra’s voice was uncharacteristically kind. “You can fill out all the paperwork tomorrow.” 

The walk to the sublevels seemed shorter than normal but Seras chalked that up to her drifting in and out of consciousness. As she was nestled in her coffin-bed and the medics left the room she thought soft lips brushed hers but that was probably a dream. She yawned and lowered the lid, dropping off into the sleep of the dead. Yeah, a dream. 

~~~

Integra stood with one finger on her lips, staring at the dark wood that held Seras, the memory of her recent actions swimming in her head. She should regret that kiss, regret showing such weakness. But she didn't. Instead she just found herself dropping her hand to the coffin lid muttering the words her heart was screaming since she had seen that mutilated body in front of her. “You can't leave me. Thats an order. Not you too.”


	4. Rendezvous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> takes place within the first year of the 30 year gap.

Seras rubbed her eyes and dropped her paperwork on Integra’s desk, all dutifully filled out in her lazy typeface. 20 files of it, one for each of the men under her direct command. She was well past tiered, already changed into her pajamas as the sun had long since risen, but those evaluations were due today and she was a stickler for deadlines.

"Thank you." Integra spoke without looking up so Seras just waited, scuffing the toe of her slipper every once and awhile. Part of her begged to leave now and crawl into her coffin, but something had been bothering her. Integra had been acting different in the few months since Seras had come back wounded; she was colder and more professional and somehow... extra protective. They had not been alone together since the medics had dropped her off, actually Seras hadn't been alone at all since then besides when she was in her quarters. Two guards were with her at all times. They were off duty currently as she SHOULD be asleep, so if she was going to say anything now was the time.

"What do you need?" Integra finally looked up, steepling her fingers with her elbows resting on the desk. 

"Did I do something wrong?" Seras swallowed hard. At Integra’s raised eyebrow she elaborated. "You have me followed and seem to be avoiding me. Why? I'm not going to attack you or your people. I'm not.." she stopped short, snapping her mouth shut around the words. She was not him, not a monster. "What... whatever I did," she hung her head "I'm sorry."

"Don't be ridiculous!" There was a sharp sound as Integra’s hand hit the desktop in emphasis. And then something occurred Seras never thought would never happen to Sir Integra Hellsing, she minced her words. "You - I - that is to say..." There was a sigh and when Seras peaked out from under her bangs Integra was pinching the bridge of her nose, eyebrows drawn together. "I'm not good at this. At affection." Seras was staring now. What had she just heard? Affection? 

~~~

Integra had to fix this. She wished she had ever been properly close to someone. She never knew her mom, her dad died at a young age, her last bit of family tried to shoot her, and then there were two killers raising her and now well, now she was twenty three and had never had a relationship - romantic or otherwise - with anyone. She did not know what to do with... with FEELINGS. 

Seras was just staring at her. "I should not have kissed you. That was a mistake." Integra tuned to her paperwork, straightening things that had never been askew, waiting for any response. 

"Oh."

It was soft but it was there. It was soft and sad. Damit. That was the opposite of what she wanted. Integra's fingers tightened around a folder, crinkling in the edges. What now? 

"I thought it was a dream..." The voice piped up again and Integra looked up to see the young vampire had practically enveloped herself in shadows, her good hand wringing the hem of her soft blue sleeping shirt. "I never thought... well that's alright... it won't be happening again so I'll just keep thinking it was a dream, ok?" Seras turned away. 

"Wait!" Integra was shaking. More apprehensive than she had ever been in any battle. Her heart pounding. "Was it a good dream?"

Red eyes met hers, Seras's mouth dropped open. 

"Y-yes." 

Integra swallowed and stood up, reaching with her lanky arms to grab Seras from across the desk and pull her in for another kiss. Seras's lips met hers and then the vampire flinched away. Bloody hell! Could she do nothing right? Integra released the shorter blonde and turned away quickly, reaching for a cigar with trembling fingers. Not kissing Seras made her sad, kissing her was apparently also off the market. Women! 

"Hey." suddenly Seras was on her side of the desk, head quirked to the side inquisitively. Integra looked away. She couldn't deal with this, with her, with the things Seras made her want to do. She was supposed to be in control and this... girl... made her completely unfocused. Quickly she inhaled the sweet smoke of the cigar she had somehow managed to light. "Hey?" There was the voice again, not accompanied by a hand resting on Integra’s cheek. Her skin was so cold. 

"Why did you pull away?" Integra locked her one blue eye to Seras’s red ones, slowly exhaling. Better to rip off the bandage, get everything out in the open now. Seras’s hand dropped from its resting place and tugged at the top of her pajama shirt, revealing red blistered skin. 

"Your cross." She gestured at the wound.

"I see." when she had grabbed Seras it must have shifted the material and silver on a vampire’s skin is almost as bad as sunlight. Realization dawning Integra’s eyes snapped back up from the wound. Seras had not pulled away because of the kiss! "So..." the human paused for another inhale of the all-calming smoke, confidence coming back. "Otherwise, not bad?" Seras’s only answer was to very carefully lean in and lock lips again, pushing up close to the taller woman and backing them both into the desk. She kissed like she had no need for air and no concept of time. Which, Integra would have mused if her brain hadn't short circuited, was entirely true for a nigh-immortal vampire. 

~~~

Seras was lost in the sensation that was kissing Integra. Her skin was impossibly hot on Seras’s cold lips, the human’s blood pulsating just underneath the surface. She felt the shadows extending from her shoulder form a vague arm-like shape as she clung to the taller blond. Even through the soft blue fabric of her top she could feel the cross, but the sensation was hot rather than burning now, so she chose to ignore it as she pushed Integra back into the desk. Seras wasn’t quite sure what her goal was with this action, but she knew Integra was a fine and rare creature, it was no wonder her master had been infatuated, and Seras was not about to let this opportunity slip through her fingers. 

When the older woman pulled away Seras found herself letting out an embarrassing whine. But when she saw the reasons behind the action her throat dried up so any sound would have been impossible. Integra carefully and deliberately removed her tie pin. The silver cross dropped to the desk with an audible clunk and it was in that moment that Seras realized she would never need to be bound in runes to submit to Integra's will. She may have been the aggressor in this latest kiss but the Hellsing was, as always, in command. 

“Can I kiss you again?” Seras whispered, running her hands through long strands of platinum blond hair. She didn’t want this to end, but would be forever remorseful if she forced something the other did not truly want. 

“I really think you should” Integra's mouth twitched up in an almost-smile. 

“Yeah keep doing that, it looks really nice.” A voice rose from the wall with a distinctly french accent. Both women's heads swiveled as one to face the peeping captain. Seras turned a very dark shade of red and started to stammer. 

“Y-you -” Before she could get more out Integra cut in,

“If you do not leave RIGHT NOW I swear upon my grandfather's grave I will delve into the family occult library and find a way to physically interact with ghosts just so I can TEAR YOUR OTHER EYE OUT!”

“Alright alright I surrender.” Pip muttered, looking sheepishly at the ground and fading back from whence he came. 

Integra’s eyebrows were knit together, a frown gracing her face. Without thinking Seras leaned up on the balls of her feet and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. Integra actually laughed, a sound so beautiful Seras thought it must be a glimpse of the heaven she would never see.

“Get yourself to bed vampire.” Integra chuckled, letting her hands drop from where they had settled again at Seras’s waist.

“Yes sir!” Seras stepped back and mock-saluted before skipping towards the door. Turning around at the threshold she smiled softly “Goodnight.”

“Pleasant dreams.” Integra said, smirking around the cigar she had placed back between her lips. Pleasant dreams indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is taking so long! I want to say I will post more often, but I really can't make that promise. However, I will say I AM still writing and invested in finishing this story and the series as a whole.


	5. Cooking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> takes place within the second year of the 30 year gap.

Seras was bopping around the kitchen singing very off-key to some pop song Integra was not familiar with. 

"If you wanna be with me, baby there's a price to pay."

Integra crossed her arms in the doorway, watching the spectacle and waiting for the short blonde to notice her. It was really quite entertaining. Seras was wearing a pink overly large t-shirt, black cotton shorts, and mismatched knee-high socks, one printed with pumpkins and the other with bats. Something she had received from her troops for Christmas (they had saved them from the Halloween sales). Integra always enjoyed seeing her out of uniform like this, when she was back to the carefree twenty one year old she really should be and not the intense vampire commander she had become though circumstances outside of her control. 

When the girl pulled on her skeleton-hand oven mitts (another gift) Integra actually chortled. The one floating on the shadows of her left arm was just too much

"Oh!" Seras whirled around and stopped singing, finally noticing the human. "I didn't see you." She tried to lean casually against the oven. 

"I know." Integra stated matter of factly. "What ARE you doing?" She cocked one eyebrow up. 

"It was supposed to be a surprise." Seras said, glancing over to a patch of wall that Integra now noticed Mr.Bernadotte floating out of. 

"I have been teaching her how to cook." He sounded so proud.

"And how is that going?" Integra suppressed more laughter. 

The vamp shared another look with her familiar. 

"Well... the kitchen is still intact... so I would say it’s going alright." Pip responded. Suddenly the captain was chewing on a phantom cigarette nervously. He opened his mouth to say something else, seemed to change his mind, and instead gestured at the oven before disappearing with a soft "take those out soon." 

Seras seemed to spring back into action, instantly pulling a rack out of the oven and plopping it onto the stove with a soft sigh. "They still just don't look right." 

Integra snuck up behind her and peered over her shoulder to examine what could only be described as a cupcake tin full of burnt goo. 

"No. No that does not look right." 

"Well the frosting is store-bought so that should be good anyway." Seras mumbled. Integra took a moment to process that someone had gone to the store and bought frosting for this because it couldn't be Seras and that was not a typical item to enter this house. Then she focused on a far more important question.

"What is all this for anyway?" 

Seras immediately turned around and caught Integra up in a kiss, one mitten enclosed hand carefully covering the silver pin at her neck. "Happy anniversary". Oh. She supposed it had been a year. Since their first real kiss they had spent more and more time together, Integra had even once slept in Seras’s coffin-bed, an experience she didn't really care to repeat. Somewhere along the way it had become apparent that they were indeed together, but this was one of the few times they brought it up. It was not that Integra didn't want to acknowledge the relationship, just that she knew labels had power. What should she call this? Friends with benefits was too blasé, lovers too inapropriate, and girlfriend sounded at once to childish and too definite. Seras seemed to see her look and suddenly was kissing her again. 

"Hey, no pressure. I'm happy. Are you happy?" She asked, resting her forehead in the crook where Integras neck met her shoulder. 

"Yes. I actually am." Integra was almost surprised to find the words were true. Standing here with her vampire, in a kitchen that smelled like smoke and chocolate, with no large threats on the horizon and the Vatican keeping their nose to themselves for once she was very very happy. 

~~~

Seras beamed joyfully up at her companion. She was so lucky to be with this woman, in any capacity. She released Integra from the embrace and dashed over to the fridge. Shaking the oven mits off her hands with no grace whatsoever she threw open the door and pulled out two cream cheese frosting options.

"Chocolate or vanilla?" Seras said, holding out the containers.

"Humm... Vanilla." Integra took the offered item and cracked it open. Seras turned around to grab a spoon and when she turned back she was met with a finger full of frosting swiping onto her nose. Shocked she just stood there, eating utensil extended in a limp hand. Integra’s peeling laughter met her ears like church bells on a summer evening and a smile split her face. Gently Seras reached up and wiped the frosting off onto one finger, offering it to the laughing woman. A chill ran down her spine as Integra leaned forward and quite seductively licked the fluffy substance away.

"Seras... you're staring." Integra said after a moment, bring Seras back from the path her thoughts were wandering as they had focused on Integras lips.

"Sorry." She blinked several times. "Um. Here is your... knife.. sorry I thought I grabbed from the right spot. I’ll get a spoon." 

"The knife is fine" Integra took a dainty scoop of the vanilla topping on the knife and Seras’s thoughts went straight back to the gutter as the human sucked the metal clean. Fuck. Integra repeated this action teasingly slow. "Do you miss human food?" She asked, sinking the knife into the frosting. 

"Sometimes. Especially the social part of dining. No birthday cake, no dinner with the troops after a long day, no Christmas pudding." Seras shrugged "But I don't crave it like I did as a fledgling. It still smells good but not enticing, kinda like how flowers are nice but you don't want to eat them." She laughed a little. 

Integra hummed in acknowledgement around another scoop of frosting and then with a twinkle in her eye she let the knife twist just a bit as it slipped out of her mouth, cutting her lip. Seras gasped as the smell of Integra’s blood hit the air. 

"Oh dearie me." Integra mocked as she smeared the blood with her finger in a dark imitation of lip gloss "could you help me with this?" Somehow she managed to wink with only one eye. 

"Yes, of course." Seras had already been leaning forward and quickly her mouth found Integra’s, lips sucking and tongue licking to clear the sweet skin of every drop. Seras broke away when her rapidly extending fangs threatened to slice into the tender flesh of her partner. Integra simply smirked and leaned back into the counter, resuming her consumption of the frosting. 

"Better than birthday cake?" The human laughed. 

"So much better." Seras licked her lips chasing the lingering taste of the blood.

"Happy anniversary."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the pink shirt I am picturing Seras wearing is actual pip's... 
> 
> its this monstrosity ;)
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/149733713@N07/27501421437/in/dateposted/)  
> 


	6. Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> takes place in the third year of the thirty year gap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: Smut ahead ;)  
> btw I think of Integra as a greysexual (capable of sexual attraction but only after a relationship is formed), so that is how I have attempted to write this.

Seras was spinning in a circle in a chair in Integra’s office. Bored waiting for the hellsing leader to return from the Vatican she had finished all paperwork and was just... spinning. Using her shadow arm as a propeller she found she could really get going quite well, luckily she didn’t experience motion sickness anymore. With a quick action she leapt from her perch, the chair continuing to clatter behind her as Integra stalked past her into the bedroom. 

“I take it the meeting was sorta frustrating?” Seras peaked around the doorframe.

“Absolutely insufferable.” Integra slammed her navy-blue pillbox hat down onto the dresser and practically ripped the buttons off her jacket in her frantic attempt to be rid of the suffocating clothing. It dropped to the floor where she left it as her shoes went flying across the room. 

Seras cautiously walked up behind the rabid human and placed her hands on the slender shoulders of her partner. 

“Wanna talk about it?” The shorter vampire pressed gently with her flesh-and-blood hand into the tense muscles. 

“No.” Integra shook her head, hair wafting her perfume about her with the motion. 

Seras froze. Her eyes blown wide. Lavender. 

~~~

Integra felt the girl go the kind of still only the dead can. Instantly any stress relief she had found upon returning home was swept away in a wave of fear. Something was wrong.

Turning on her heel Integra saw that a deep blush was splayed across the vampire's face, her eyes unfocused and far away.

“Seras?” She took the beet-red face in her cool hands. “What is happening?” 

“Um - I - nothing,” the girl mumbled, “Just a memory.” Her eyes skirted away. Integra let herself relax again, nothing external was bothering her vampire. 

“Story for a story?” Integra offered. She had always been a curious person. “I’ll talk about the meeting if you tell me this memory.”

“Ummmm... okay.” Seras nodded. 

Integra plopped back on the bed, her hands searching aimlessly for her cigars before realizing she had left them in the discarded jacket. With a sigh threw an arm over her eyes and breathed out. 

“They recruited a new regenerator to the Iscariot division. I think you might know of them, Heinkle Wolfe.” 

“Yes.” Seras sat down on the edge of the bed, her fingers drifting to tangle in Integra’s hair. “She is just as fanatical as Anderson was,” Seras shivered. 

“Well at least Makube seems to have a level head on him, for a catholic that is.” Integra chucked her dry humorless laugh. Seras just hummed and waited for her to continue. “They think Hellsing still isn’t ready to operate on it’s own in England. I told them we had only allowed them on our soil on a temporary basis during our recovery but apparently they are determined to stay.” 

“So what did you do?” The smile was evident in Seras voice.

“I told them to go fuck themselves in so many words.” She moved her arm to look at the one person who always made her feel better. “They agreed to inform me before they send troops into the area but that this is a courtesy only.”

“Sounds to me like they are giving in.” Seras quirked her head to the side.

“Perhaps. But they are the church. They last. I fear they will appease me and bide time until I’m gone.” 

“Well,” Seras’s smile slipped, “I shall carry your will beyond the grave. As long as I am around Hellsing will be the protector of England.”

“Thank you Captain Victoria.” Integra allowed some humor to slip into her voice. “Now your turn.”

Seras blushed and began to stutter. “Y-your perfume... the last time I smelled it... was when.. um.. when...” she buried her head in her hands her next words running together “whenmasterfirsttouchedme.”

Integra scrunched her brows. “The first time you and Alucard were intimate you smelled my perfume?”

“Um... yes.” Red eyes peeked out through shy fingers. 

“Why?” Integra sat up, taken aback. Of course she knew they had been together, she confronted the ancient vampire about it the morning after their first... copulation. 

“I... I think that would be too embarrassing to say.” Seras shook her head. 

“I can be very persuasive Seras Victoria.” Integra leaned into the girl, kissing at the exposed flesh above her collar. Her warm lips seemed to melt the cool skin everywhere she touched. 

“Well he - well I - I was struggling to enjoy blood so master umm… helped.” Seras moaned lightly after the last word as Integra continued her ministrations of kisses. “The lavender was to stop me from smelling the soldiers, keep me focused on the, um, good stuff and not the killing.”

“You mean he used blood to seduce you under the guise of being a good teacher?” Integra snickered.

Seras sat up straighter. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

“Well,” Integra kissed her way up to Seras’s lips, “how about I show you what real communication feels like.” She brought her blue eye up to meet Seras’s red ones “lay with me Seras.”

“Really?” The girl chewed on her lip. 

“I’m tired, I’m frustrated, you make me feel better, we have practically been dating two years, I think I can handle it.” Integra pushed the smaller blond down onto the bed before starting to unbutton her own shirt. “Do you want to? Do you want me?”

“Of course!” The vampire balled her hands in her hair, the shadows of the left one jumping sporadically. “I have been pulling away when I wanted more for so long cause I thought you decided to remain a virgin.”

“I have.” Integra smirked at the confused look on the draculina’s face. “I am pretty old fashioned Seras, as are the laws of the church of England. Only counts if man enters woman.” She said the last words with an eyeroll. At this point her shirt was hanging off her shoulders, soft blue bra the only thing breaking the long strip of tanned skin. 

“Oh.” Seras’s eyes were riveted to Integra’s neck. The human gently tilted her head and smiled.

“No biting.”

~~~

Seras instantly flipped them over. If she were alive her heart would have been a hammering staccato. Her lips mimicked what Integra had done to her earlier, playing over the smooth surface of her neck. Then she traveled lower, kissing a path along the bra where cloth met skin. Carefully Seras was avoiding pulse points, she could already feel her fangs elongating. Her hands quickly pulled the rest of the clothing from her lover's torso and looked down upon true beauty. 

Ever so gently Seras allowed her hands to brush over the humans breasts, lightly squeezing and then rolling the nipples between two fingers. Integra’s back arched up and she let out a low moan. 

Seras repeated the motion again and again, fascinated with the sounds she could pull from the normally more reserved human. Her eyes roamed over every surface available; the tensing muscles of Integras stomach, the soft “o” her mouth formed, her hands clenched in the sheets... she was pulled out of her revelry when her lover released a string of cuss words followed by “Just TOUCH me already Seras!” 

“Oh. Sorry.” The blond giggled a bit as she slid off her companion to facilitate the removal of the rest of Integra’s clothes. Though before she could crawl between those temptingly long legs Integra held up a hand and breathily panted. 

“You too.” 

Seras doubted she had ever undressed so quickly. Not a single moment was spared for organization and she knew the stocking that just went flying would be a hassle to find later but that was a problem for then. Now she had something far more important to do. 

Gently Seras slid back over her human, cool skin on blazing hot. It almost hurt and she bit her lip knowing the tinge of pain only turned her on more. Desperately their lips tangled together, one of Integra’s hands coming up to grip at Seras’s short locks as the vampire's fingers deftly made their way down to Integra’s needy core. 

“Are you sure this is ok?” Seras asked as her fingers swirled round and round over her lover's clit. 

“Yes! Just don’t stop.” Long strands of platinum blond hair stuck to Integra’s neck as she moaned and tossed on the sheets. Seras was desperate to memorize every moment when a distraction caused her brain to short circuit. Integra’s own hand was cupping her, index finger lightly mimicking every motion Seras made. 

Seras buried her head in the pillow, biting down roughly as she sped up and felt the corresponding increase of pace from Integra. Soon her companion let out a series of shorter gasps before her body tensed and Seras became acutely aware of the humans hammering heart. She actually tore out a chunk of the pillow as ecstasy hit her, partially from the physical pleasure Integra had provided and partially just from the knowledge that she had been the cause of the other womans orgasm.

As the two came back down together Seras tucked herself underneath her lankier partners chin, licking and kissing lightly at the heated tanned flesh. Her limbs wrapped around her lover and mumbled words of thanks tumbled past her lips as sleep claimed her. 

~~~

Integra followed not long after, bothering only to pull some blankets over their naked bodies. With a yawn she noted the state of her pillow but decided it was well worth it. Sex had never been something she was terribly interested in, and even getting off (such a vulgar expression) had merely been an act of maintenance, much like eating distasteful but healthy foods. However, Seras she liked, she had liked every lingering glance, every touch, every kiss. Integra decided she liked this too, when it was with the right person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this update came a little early cause i will be busy over the weekend, hopefully i will remember and shall post again next saturday.


	7. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> takes place in the fourth year of the thirty year gap

“Wait just a second!” Seras burst in through the door to the library. “You said Romanian! And you called him Count!”

“Yes?” Integra looked up from her poetry book and cup of tea to stare at the petite blond powder-keg. 

“Is Alucard Dracula? Vlad the Impaler?”

“Seras.... I love you darling but sometimes you are really dense.”

“Hey!” Seras pouted indignantly. 

“Alucard is literally Dracula spelled backwards.” Integra took a sip of her tea and watched as the girl imploded. 

“Oh.” Seras slumped into a chair on the other side of the fireplace. A corner of Integras mouth twitched up as she watched the blonde curl towards the warmth like a cat. 

They sat in silence a little longer, Integra pretending to read, but actually just studying her companion. She had been waiting for this moment, and had in truth delved more studiously into the family records since their return from London, hunting for her own answers. Knowing what she knew now, the anticipation of Dracula’s fledgling asking questions was tinged with dread. Finally the vampire tucked her legs up under her in the chair and cleared her throat.

“Your curiosity is piqued?” Integra sipped her tea again, enjoying baiting the girl a little bit.

“Yes…” Seras shifted nervously in the confines of the plush cushions. Not really saying more.

“What is it you wish to know?” Integra gave up pretense and set down her own reading, turning her torso to face Seras fully.

“The truth.”

“That is always a good place to start.” Integra would have laughed, but there was something sad in the red eyes staring back at her. “Well I guess first you must realize that the book is somewhat falsified. The biggest lie is the ending, our king of the night, he did not die. My grandfather Abraham Van Hellsing doctored the records, and everyone else kept quiet, but the vampire was brought back here, to England, to be studied so that the good doctor might prevent this evil from ever falling upon anyone again.” 

Seras nodded and continued to listen, enraptured by the spilling of Hellsing family secrets.

“Eventually he found a way to control the vampire we now call ‘Alucard’ and the creature has been passed down the family lines along with the leadership of our humble organization” Here Integra smirked. Seras bit her lip and glanced away. “I see that is not what you wanted. Ask anything and I will tell you what I know from the records.”

“What do you know about Lucy?” Integra noticed the way the small vampires shadows were beginning to jump more rapidly, clearly she was invested in this topic. The human swallowed down her own emotions. 

“Well we thought her remains had been properly disposed of, but apparently millenium got their hands on her. That was a shame. Not much else I am afraid.” Integra swirled her cooling tea.

“And the three um, sisters, who lived in his castle?”

“Ah them. Actually we know more of them from Dr. Van Hellsings private journals during his studies. Mostly it was about the way the curse worked-” She paused at Seras’s intake of breath “-I will get to that- but there was mention that he had created each of them as a companion over the years, he cared for them, as was evident at his anger over their destruction. Unfortunately that is all I know, for Alucard’s emotions were not paramount to my ancestor.”

Seras nodded. “The curse then. Master had asked me if I was a virgin before taking my life, and I have heard other stories along those lines, but it wasn't mentioned in the book.” Her voice trailed off questioningly.

“No it was not. Actually Mina herself was not a virgin, she had a husband after all and consummation of marriage was highly important in those days. But it is rare that a non-virgin can be properly turned. It is somewhat of an indicator, like a... carrier for the curse. It is spiritual as well as biological, and the purer the spirit, the stronger the vampire. Some simply crumble and die, or become ghouls as you saw.”

“Humm” Seras hummed lowly, now looking at her own hands, one solid one shadow, twinning in her lap. “I just… need to know one more thing… tell me about Mina”   
Words continued to spill out of her, seemingly unbidden “I saw her grave once, through the link, and when I tried to mention her to master he just… got angry.” 

Softly Integra bridged the gap to hold her lovers hands in her own. “Willamena never escaped her curse. She had drank of his blood after all. And the son she had with Jonathan was adopted, you will not be able to bear biological offspring either my dear. However she was just a fledgling, having not consumed enough blood or anyone's soul,” Integra softened her eyes as Seras flinched, “so she did eventually die. The certificate says old age, but Alucard threw a fit that someone had found his fledgling and killed her.” Seras was not breathing, the sadness now overwhelming in her eyes. Integra knew the vampire’s question without any vocalization necessary. Why Her? 

She took a deep breath. “He wanted her. She was beautiful and loyal and most of all, smart. She as much as anyone else helped track him down. I do not know what he felt, or if he was really capable of desire beyond that of what he can not have.” She raised one eyebrow knowingly. “However, he often mentioned her, as documented in the journals, and considered her death a personal affront.” The human closed her good eye, steeling herself for this next part. Seras deserved all she knew. “You should also probably see this…” Rising she went to a bookshelf kept behind glass doors and after unlatching it, pulled out a dog-eared tome. Rifling through the pages as she resumed her seat a picture slipped out into her gentle fingers. A charcoal sketch, from the train. Integra laid it on the side table between them. A softly sleeping Mina graced the paper, looking all-too-much like Seras. 

~~~

Seras lost all touch with the world except to stare at the picture in front of her. Mina, Alucards last fledgling before her, who had blonde wispy hair and a pleasantly round face, and a sharp nose, like looking in a funhouse mirror. Was this why he chose her? Was she just a scrap of her masters past?

The touch of Integra’s warm hand on her shoulder drew her back to herself. She took a shaky breath, trying to remember how her body should work, trying to remember how to live in her corpse. 

“You aren’t her Seras.” Her lovers voice was so soft. “I can’t speak to Alucards motives, but I can speak to my own feelings, and I love the person sitting right here, right now.”

Seras nodded, still numb. Eventually she found her voice.

“Am I just a replacement?” she could feel the blood running down her cheeks, how sick that she cried out other people's lives. 

Integra actually laughed. 

“Did you know I once broke one of Alucards glasses?” Seras looked at her quizzically. “I was young, and felt bad, so I dusted off the old glassware from my grandfather and gave him one of those, I wasn't using it, and it was nice, so I figured, good enough. The next day I found a lovely pile of shards on my desk. He broke every single piece in the set. The one he has now walter actually bought him, an original, hand blown.” Integra smiled and wiped away the red from Seras’s cheeks. “That royal pain would never accept a replacement. Not of the cups he drinks out of, certainly not of his most precious creations, his legacy.”

Seras nodded and smiled. She felt like such a child, a silly highschool girl finding out she was the second love of her first love. Doesn't matter. She kissed the hand that comforted her. He wasn't here, and Integra was, and she was, and that was the life she was going to focus on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the upload miss-hap. also, I will prooabiy not have the next chapter up until July (I'm graduating college this Saturday, and then packing to move, so just wont have time to edit and post.)

**Author's Note:**

> Update: lives are hectic, chapters will now be posted without a beta reading, and I am sorry I suck at keeping to a posting schedule.
> 
> also chapter names were confusing even ME, now are named according to content, check chapter summary for time placement.
> 
> Update pt.2: this fic is on hiatus. I will update it sometime, probably, as I get chapters finished. Writing for it is just painfully slow and I have other works that are flowing easily right now, so I am going to focus on them. sorry 


End file.
